Got it Sorted - Thank Goodness

Well, for the past 2 weeks , I have been fighting with the British Embassy in Washington DC over my passport. They had sent me my new one but it was totally mucked up - their mistake. When I asked how it could be fixed, I was told that I had to reapply and pay $236 again. WHAT Not on your bleedin nelly. But this snooty woman insisted that my money was not refundable, therefore I would have to pay again. I read through the paperwork on the Embassy's website and it clearly states that the money is not refundable if I make an error or if my passport application is rejected.

So, I wrote a rather terse letter to the Embassy in Washington explaining their own rules and that my passport was not rejected and it was their error that caused the passport to be messed up. I also wrote to The Foreign Office in London in the hope that someone would place their foot up someones bum.

Well, yesterday afternoon, I got a phone call from a very nice woman in Washington to say that , YES, it was their error and she would email me a UPS return label and all I had to do was send the passport back and they would correct it - NO CHARGE. I won't feel happy until I get the corrected passport in my hand and then I can go home again. I need to get away from here and my non-existent support group!

I was putting the garbage out at the curb the other Sunday night, when I fell - luckily I fell backwards and landed on the grass. Freddie was driving by and saw me. He stopped the car and ran over to help me get up. He also said that in the future, he would put the cans out and bring them in for me. Help - at last.

D's mother invited me to Easter at their house but I declined as I really was not feeling well. Michael said he would come over so that I would not be alone. At 11:30 on Easter morning, he called me and I could tell he was either drunk or hung over - his message - I feel like shit and I ain't going anywhere . I told him that I felt really ill and I had put my back out. He said - Well. I'm going to bed - Goodbye.

So, that's how it was, I spent Easter alone and could hardly get off the couch to make a bowl of cereal because my back hurt so bad. I don't know what I did to make my children so selfish.

Do you remember the birdie on top of the light pole on Santa Monica Pier. I wonder if he ever jumped! I'll have to back and see!

Love you and love you xxxxxxxxxxx

I'm begining to hate life!

Hello my darling,

I am up to my eyeballs with problems and have no one here to help me. I think that if I can't get everything sorted soon - I shall give up and take the whole bleeding bottle of Valium.

I am still unable to find anyone in the British Consulate who can help me get my passport corrected - so at the moment - I can't go anywhere. I am now going to write to the Foreign Office in London and tell them that their staff in both Washington DC and Los Angeles are a total bunch of worthless arseholes.

I am also still trying to get things sorted out with your company who owe me $5000+ - but the woman I spoke to today said that "it takes time" She will call me back when she has news about the payment. Oh - OK.

I was out and about today - had to go to the World Market. They had so much lovely Easter stuff and I would love to buy bunnies and stuff for the girls - but as their mother won't let me see them anymore - it would be a waste of money. Do you remember Easters past when Eri and I painted eggs and then I hid them in the garden. We always had such a good time - all gone now.

Glad to say that Mike is feeling better - I hope to see him this weekend - so tired of being alone.

I do hope you like the picture of our wedding in Reno - what a good time we had - and we all drank WAY too much. I have a photo of me sitting at the dinner table with my eyes half shut and my bouquet on my head!

I will love you until I die xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What a week

I think I am going to go stark raving mad before long. Everyday, I dread the mail arriving because it's usually something that someone has screwed up.

I got a letter from Edison yesterday to say that several employees have had their identity stolen and you may be one of them. Well, first of all, I was very upset because I assumed that you had been removed from Edison's data base - SO - why are they sending out letters to dead people? The letter suggested that you check with Equifax or one of the other credit reporting companies. So, I did - but they would not give me credit report because there is a security hold on the account! ARRHHHH!

I was quite upset - lots more tears - and so I got on the horn and called Edison - what a performance! The lady that I spoke with was very nice but had not heard of anything to do with stolen identities - she will check. While I had her on the phone, I also asked her what had happened to the merit award check? I got a check for your merit award and - as per Edison - they cocked it all up. The check was made out to you - but you are not on any of the bank accounts. I have an agreement with the bank manager to deposit any checks made out in your name - so that's what I did. Bunged it in the bank. Well, a few days later, a woman from Edison called and said the check should have been in my name and it was made out for the wrong amount - AND - they want the check back! I told her that the check had gone down the big hole in the bank - so she told me to write a personal check and send them the money back and they would reissue the check in my name. That was almost 3 weeks ago! So, the lady re: identity theft is going to look into that for me.

I called the British Consulate again and asked the same lady that I had spoken to before. I asked her how things were coming along with my screwed up passport and DANG IT - she had forgotten all about it but would get in touch with Washington on Monday.

Jesus Christ! Is there anyone on this planet that can do their job. By the way, the phone calls to the Consulate are costing me $2:50 a minute - and it's that stupid outfit that have screwed things up.

Went to Dr. Dimitri on Thursday to have the impressions made for my partials. Cor Struth! He put so much goop in the mold thing and pushed it so hard, I thought it was going to ooze out of my nose! He also got the latex stuff stuck all over my face and nose. I spent my lunch hour sitting at the bar in Applebees sipping a beer and trying to peel purple and pink goop off my face. A lovely sight.

Do you remember when we went to San Diego and had lunch in that posh place at the museum - twas lovely but way too expensive. I hope you like the picture. Will love you forever.

Sadder and Sadder - Maybe it's the weather!

Hi my Darling - I am missing you very badly today and, therefore, lots of tears.

It has been very windy and loads of stuff keep coming down from the palm trees. Artie took care of the first lot but I don't like to take advantage - so this morning, I dragged about 10 large palm fronds over to the side yard and I will get Felix to take care of them on Friday. I didn't realize how my emphysema is getting so bad - moving the palm fronds nearly killed me ! I had to sit down about halfway through. Don't smoke!

Yesterday afternoon, I called the British Consulate in Los Angeles and was able to get hold of a really nice lady who said that she would call Washington DC - to see if she could find out how they had managed to mess up my passport. I'm not certain that she understood my problem but will keep my fingers crossed and hope that I can get a passport with the right name and signature. If all else fails - I will become an American citizen - with an American passport and everything will be straight. I have no problem with that - except I do so want to go to Cuba and lie on the beach in Havana - reading The Old Man and the Sea - and smoking a Cuban cigar and drinking Cuba Libre!(It is illegal for Americans to go to Cuba - darn)

I shed a few tears today for my beautiful daughter - I wish she could forgive and forget - or just forgive (I'm not sure what I've done to make her hate me so.) I want to hold her and kiss her - but that isn't going to happen. Another hurt in my heart.

I love you - forever.

I hope you like the picture of your grandma Paul and her quilting - what a sweet old girl.

Teeth - and more teeth!

I'll try to catch up on all the latest news - mostly to do with teeth!

I had an appointment on Thursday to have the temporary crowns pulled off and the permanents glued on. As I haven't been able to eat anything solid for what seems like 6 years - I had cheese and broccoli soup with soggy bread on Wednesday night.

When I first got to the dentist, I had a deep cleaning - agh - lots of blood and too much pain - so the hygienist gave me about 12 shots of Novocaine. She left the room while she waited for the numbing to take effect. While she was gone, I was happily sitting doing some knitting when I felt a real broccoli ripper coming on - I didn't think she would be back for a while so I let her go. Cor struth - I almost passed out from the pong.

Well, darn it - she was back in 2 minutes. She opened the door - took one breath - turned a pale shade of green - and left, slamming the door and not returning for 15 minutes! She was not nearly as friendly as she had been earlier! I guess some people don't fart - or eat broccoli!

Both the nurse and the dentist had a hell of a time getting the temporaries off - but after much tugging, yanking and swearing (yes, the dentist said some naughty words - bad dentist!) they came off and I was ready for another round of torture - putting the new crowns on. It didn't hurt but he pushed on them so hard, I thought they would come through my nose!

On to the next phase - shoving great mounds of that vile pink goop in my mouth to take impressions for my partials. They will be ready to pick up for the first fitting on Thursday - but he says they will take at least 3 fittings - so I won't be done for a while yet. The insurance ran out in February so I am paying for all of this torture out of my own pocket -%$#*&%$ thousand dollars! You don't mind do you?

Dear Felix came last week and fixed another sprinkler - I seem to have a rash of broken sprinklers. The garden is starting to look pretty again after all that rain.

I must correct a mistake that I made in an earlier posting - I said that Matt was in the slammer. Wrong! It's Alex who is in the slammer. I got another letter from him the other day. He doesn't have any money! Surprise, surprise! and he has converted to a Muslim! I wrote back and asked him how I can put money on his books (I have some English money lying around.) I will also go and visit him when, and if, I ever get over there.

Mr. and Mrs. L have moved into their new home in Vancouver, BC. I am invited to drive (1000 miles - NOT) or fly up there anytime the heat gets to be too much.

Mand D came to lunch yesterday. We went to a sushi place - Dee doesn't eat sushi but she had a nice grilled salmon with brown rice. I had an assortment of sushi and went a little too overboard with the wabi-sabi sauce and blew me brains out! Still it was good - and I don't think it has the same effect as broccoli.

Must go and do Monday chores.

Love you - more every day

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I thought you would like to be reminded of all your hard work when you made the Camel. It's just beautiful.

Why Can't Things Go Right?

Oh darling,

I do wish that you were here to help me out. I used to be this big-mouthed pushy broad - but now I'm turning into a wimpy little defeatist. Don't know how much more I can carry on alone.

Sarah has sent some terrible emails and she doesn't understand that I adore her - she is my only daughter and I want her to hug me but she hates me and blames me for all the problems in her life. I know that the root of the problem is drugs - but it is much easier to blame me. She told me that she is sending Emily to Maggies's at Pismo for spring break - that way, she will know what a NICE grandma is. Good - I hope she enjoys all the clothes and shoes that I bought her. But there again - I'm NOT a nice Grandma!

I called a family therapist today to make an appointment - I was directed to an answer machine and then told that the mail box was full so I couldn't leave a message. Might as well have killed myself with the telephone - stuffed it down my neck, eh?

My passport showed up and the have got it all messed up - with the name wrong and the signature in the wrong place - AHHHHHHH! I wrote them a snippy letter and hope that this mess will get sorted out before the end of May. One can hope.

Tomorrow, I have an 8:30 appointment to have my smile worked on. I will see the hygienist first and then have my 7 temporary crowns replaced with permanent ones. Then the dentist is taking the imprints (or whatever you call them) for my partial. The dental receptionist recons I will be there 4-5 hours - Cor struth - I shall be dying for a brew when I get out of there!

Talking of brews - I went to Applebees St. Paddy's day party yesterday - I wasn't feeling too well and only stayed an hour - the sight of all that green beer made me icky! I wore a pair of St. Paddy's ears but one of the wires was limp! and the shamrock hung down over me earole! What a sight!

The flowering plum in the back yard is in full bloom - I hope you like the picture - I took it this morning.

I will love you forever

xxxxxxxxx

Ain't life a bithch?

I try to be kind and generous to people but it just doesn't work - so I fucking well give up!

I loaned $ 500 to a friend at Applebees - he needed it to pay off traffic tickets. No problem.

I later found out that he had used the money to hire a limo and take his girl friend to a show in Hollywood. Well, I guess I'm a dumb shit! I don't suppose I'll ever see the $500 again.

Yesterday, granddaughter called on her cell phone and asked if I would take her to look at prom dresses. Of course - I was thrilled. She showed up with her sister and said, ' Do you think you could get some summer clothes for sis - oh and some sandals" We had a great time wandering up and down the mall - even though it was tough on my emphysema. After all the shopping , we went to TGIF for dinner - it was all very yummy. We got back to the house around 7::00 and everyone was happy with their purchases and my bank account was $300 lighter!

This morning, I got an email from my daughter that was evil. I will not take her kids shopping again and I don't care if I ever see any of them again.

I am suffering enough grief - I can't take any more.

My darling, please help me to stop crying.

I will love you forever

xxxxxxx

Do you remember when we went to San Diego in 2005 - I wasn't very well but made it down to the harbor - it was a gorgeous day.

Why can't we do it again? xxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Dearest

I'm sorry that I haven't written to you for so long but I have been very busy because every thing keeps going wrong.

The one bright star in the past 2 weeks is that Angela L came to visit and it was lovely to have someone in the house. The loneliness is unbearable some days. But Angie and I had a good time. We went to this fabulous make-up and perfume shop and I went mad with purple eyeshadow and $20 anti wrinkle cream - for me bum - LOL

Mike and Dee were going to take me out on the Sunday before my berfday but Mike has been very sick. After a bunch of tests, they have decided that he has gout and is now on medication - and NO booze. I saw them today but he does not look well and my heart aches for him. I can't bear to lose another child.

I got the income tax done - but I owe the IRS $5,800. I don't understand why and am thinking of going to another CPA before I pay the feds. Bugger them!

My sister just got back from a 2 week vacation in the Maldives. I guess she had a great time and now looks like a wrinkled up old 66 year old with a fabulous tan!

The staff at Applebees invited me for lunch on my birthday. They were so kind and bought me a lovely vase of flowers and the cutest little cake you ever saw. The candles were in the shape of beer cans! I wonder why they did that?

I'm missing you more each day and don't know how long that I can go on alone.

Please Daddy - come back. I can't go on without you.

I will love you forever.

Spring is here and I took this pic this morning.

Oh Dear - What Can the Matter be?

No - I haven't been locked in the lavatory! Yet. But I think I may be headed to the nut house because I can't stand this empty house for much longer.

I was sweeping the back patio this morning and I found a dead little birdie. Poor little bugger - I had to sweep him up and put him in the rubbish.

I had a nice day yesterday with Mike and Dee - we went to the Elephant Bar for lunch. Thank goodness they had some linguine with a cream sauce. I can't eat any meat for at least 3 more weeks - unless I cut it in teeny pieces. I would kill for a Porterhouse and some chips! The day will come - I hope.

I sprayed my hair bright green the other day - and didn't wash it out before I went to bed! Dumb broad! My bed linens where all covered in bright green dye! It's a good thing that I didn't die in the night - the coroner would have thought it was an odd tropical green disease!

The crying doesn't stop. I would give anything to see my granddaughters - but it's not going to happen because my daughter is a spiteful - hateful - witch. I cry over Matt - he's only 20 and in prison - I want to go and kiss him and hug him. But -when I get to England - it won't happen - I will have to talk to him through a glass partition on a telephone. But, I've done that before haven't I and that was lots of tears too.

I have been trying to find the cheapest fare to England but it looks like it's all about $1200/$1300 if I leave at the end of May and come home in June. So, I shall just continue to spend the kids inheritance! I would love to take Eri with me - but that isn't going to happen either!

I have had a good old clean up in the spare room today and packed up some of your clothes to give to Dee for the rehab center. Lots more tears! But I know that some of those parolees will be grateful.

Anjo the Banjo is still in the Maldives - baking her tits off - well, there wasn't a lot to start with, was there - should all be gone by now! I think she comes home on Friday. Mrs. L is back in beautiful sunny California and I hope she will come down to see me soon - I have some jobs for her to do!

Do you remember when we went to Morro Bay and you took my photo with Sid Vicious - the pirate - he's really a lovely guy and I might take him up as my new toy boy! - although that hook could be dangerous!

An Odd Day

Yesterday was a bit wonky and I never did finish half of my chores - oh well - there is only me to see the dust!

It started off wrong when I got up to go to the lav at 4:00 and lost my balance - fell off the toilet and banged my head on the sink! I am going to see Dr. K on the 18th March and will ask him to look in me earoles as I seem to be losing my balance quite often these days - and NO - it's not the Baileys!

My lovely crowns are smashing except one of them had a little burr on it (they are made of some type of acrylic) The burr was driving me nuts, so I called the dentist's office and they told me to come down right away. I was there in 10 minutes and it only took the lady 2 mins to grind it smooth - Viola!

I got a phone call from one of the women at the accountant/tax office. She wanted to know how much the Comcast stock was worth/per share - on the day that you died. How the hell would I know? Stupid woman. I told her to call Comcast or look it up on the Internet. She called back later and said she had found the information - in the bloody package of documents I gave her (Gabe had it!) Cor struth!

I went to Applebees at lunch and sat and watched the Brits get done by the Swedes at curling. I love to watch the curling - shame we lost. I had a bowl of mashed potatoes for lunch! I can't chew anything! Oh for a Filet Mignon!

I hope you like this photo of Me, Your Dad, Your Mom, and You - you handsome beast! It was taken up at Flintridge when Diane had her 25th anniversary. This year she has her 50th Anniversary - can you believe it?

Love you and miss you dearly xxxxxxxxx

A Monumental Stone Mason's Delight!

Well, I'm doing it - I'm getting rid of all these crooked, cracked, ugly English teeth and am getting some brand new, pretty, straight, healthy looking gnashers.

As I told you, I have already had 6 - or was it 7? - pulled out - ouch. I am now having all the front ones crowned. Yesterday, I was at the dentist for over 4 hours but I am HAPPY. Dr. Dimitri is wonderful and I can tell that he really loves his job. He is also very funny and sings while he works! Even the temporary crowns look amazing and I shall be getting the permanent 0nes on March 19. My goal, when all of this is finished is to look like Ava Gardener (at 67)

The only problem I am going to run into is THE BILL! My insurance has already run out and it's only February. Yesterday's work was $7,500 and I imagine the rest of the work will be at least $10,000. Still, never mind 'eh! It's only money and I will find it somehow! The price of beauty!

It rained again during the night and the lawn is starting to come back. Felix finally came yesterday but I was in the shower so was unable to give him a good bashing! Next time!

Mike and Dee want to take me to Dana Point for my B'day - that will be nice - you and I always enjoyed it there and I haven't been since you are gone. I shall be sure and take my camera. Snap some of those million dollar boats that I might buy when I've finished my teeth.

I got my will finished - had a long yack with Joe's wife while he was making a few corrections. She is so nice and very huggy - you know that I need hugs! I have made a provision for the house to be sold (after I kick the bucket, of course) and the proceeds - after taxes - go to The City of Hope and The American Cancer Society. I hope you approve - I feel good about it.

I know that you and I and The Two Ronnies will be the only ones who get the title of this blog entry!

Do you remember when we went to the driftwood beach near Cambria - wasn't it a lovely day? I miss you and kiss you with my new choppers! xxxxxxxxxxxx

Running Around Like a Blue Arsed Fly!

Yesterday was busy and very stressful - but I got through it and finally had a nice cold beer at 4:00 p.m.

You know that I am a terrible procrastinator and I was still typing up information for our income taxes at 8:00 a.m. It all had to be done for my appointment at 11:00a.m in Pomona. I just had enough time to jump in the shower and fly out of the door with a large folder of mysterious papers under my arm.

As I told you, George died in October so I saw his daughter, Karen. She seems nice enough but I don't think she knows the business like George did. Anyway, after an hour and a half of paper shuffling and asking me lots of questions - the result is that I owe the Feds $4,800. ARGHHHHHH! Boy that cuts into my beer money! So, now I am going to get hold of the Social Security and have them start taking taxes out of my pension or I will get done again next year.

I stopped at a coffee shop in Pomona - The Iron Skillet- and had some scrambled eggs and coffee for lunch - the eggs were delish - the coffee like cat piddle!

I came back to the house and decided to look up air fares to England so that I can go and visit Anjo Banjo in May/June. British Airways want $1, 380 plus airport tax and baggage fee! WHAAAAT! Anyway, I put a message on the internet and a friend in Canada has found me a much cheaper fare by going LA to Toronto - Toronto to Manchester for $550 I shall be looking into it - although my passport hasn't come back yet - so I may not be going anywhere!

I had an appointment with Joe - the lawyer - at 3:00 p.m. to finalize my will. He has also done all the paper work to change the deed of the house into my name only. I feel good that that job is done - he only charged me $250 for the lot. He is such a nice bloke.

So, by 4:00p.m. I could finally go down to the pub and catch my breath. What a day.

Today, I go back to the dentist - drilling - crowning - cleaning - just general torture. But Dr. Dimitri is very nice and I'm trying not to be nervous.

I love you and miss you and I hate having to do all this work alone when I have a daughter that could help me - but no - I think the relationship has finally ended and I won't see her again. I cry every day over that.

Do you remember when we went to San Diego and I think that S took this picture while we were sneaking a bit of bum squeezing! I miss you so much xxxxxx

Hello my lovely darling - I kiss you every night as you rest in your lovely rosewood box.

Yesterday, some nut job flew his plane into the IRS building in Austin, Texas - well, while I don't condone this type of behaviour - I can understand this blokes frustration. I am trying to make sense of our taxes - I have an appointment with Karen, George's daughter, on Tuesday. I have at least 15 1099 forms and some of them make no sense to me - Edison is charging me for a $15, 000 income - Huh! Anyway, I'm getting it all together and, like Angela says, shove it all in a grocery bag and chuck it on Karen's desk! LOL I will let you know how I get on. I probably owe the IRS everything I have!

Felix, the lawnmower did not show up this week - no idea why. When he does show his face, I shall give him a damn good thrashing. The lawn is full of dandelions and the seeds that Felix sowed in the bald spots haven't done bugger all - bald is still bald!

Did I tell you that Angela has gone with her boyfriend, Keith, to the Maldives - some teeny islands in the Indian Ocean. There is nothing there except sand, booze and snorkeling. She has taken about 6 bathing suits - 10 sari wrap job things and enough make up to prepare for a movie set! I really do hope she has a lovely time but I don't think I could up with 2 weeks of sand up me bum!

I was hoping to go and see Di in Tucson but now that I have started my dental torture - may not be able to go until later in the summer. I wouldn't want all those lovely nuns seeing me without any gnashers!

Do you remember when I took this picture in Temecula. I love it - and I love you.

Spring is Near

I went to see a therapist today - it's going to cost me a couple of bob - but may be worth it. Her name is Nina and she really is a lovely lady - HOWEVER, I drove up to the house - very pretty - large property - circular driveway- lawns and flowers. I knocked on the door and when she let me in, I almost died. There are ferrets - a parrot that won't STFU - turtles - snakes - cats - dogs and also horses who live in the paddock! AGHHH!

The house is a pig sty - but oh well - she has a degree from USC and I could tell that she is very smart (but likes too many animals!)

We had a very good session (although expensive) but I know that you would want me to carry on - so I will for a little while. She suggested that I write a letter to the daughter from hell - not that I will mail it - just to get my bile onto a piece of paper. I went down to the Saddle Sore and spent more time looking at the lovely horses in the paddock and drinking beer than I did writing.

Nina's husband died 10 years ago from an aneurysm - he was only 49 - so she understands my grief and she still grieves for him.

I'm watching the Limpits - the women's snowboard up and down the big thing. The Brits are doing useless. Typical!

Spring is coming - here is a pic of the daffs in the front garden.

Will love you forever.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Why Oh Why

Hello my darling John,

Today has been a terrible day and I had a hard time getting through it. My darling daughter - who, as you know, I adore, is on one of her hate mother crusades and I am about ready to smash everything in the house and just run away. My granddaughters don't speak to me anymore - or even call me on the telephone. God knows what I have done to make them hate me.

I called several agencies this afternoon to ask for some counselling help. At least 2 of them asked me which church I attend - and when I said NONE - they politely told me that they couldn't help me. Cor struth - why do I have to go to church. I don't believe in the God person because he has never helped me. I have now lost my darling Julie, who died, my wonderful husband who suffered so badly with cancer and died. And now I have lost a psycho daughter who has poisoned her daughters against me. I'm getting ready to chuck it in. There is no point in living in this place alone and getting up each morning with more tears.

The daffodils are coming out in the front garden - tomorrow I shall take some pictures. In the meantime here is a photo of the garden cactus.

I love you

Happy Horrible Valentines Day

It was 13 years ago today that we attended the funeral of my lovely little daughter, Julie Morris. The day could not have been worse - grey - cold - drizzle - it was awful. Her half baked husband forbid me to send flowers and did not allow me to be in any part of the ceremony. I still cry every day. I love you Julie.

Today, I went to lunch with Mike and Dee. It was very nice but my menu was limited as I still have very sore gnasher holes! I ended up with a baked potato and tons of butter and sour cream all mashed into a soft mess that my poor old mouth could manage; washed down with a couple of nice cold beers - that helped!

Mike is having lots of trouble with his hip and is going in for a cortizone shot. I hope he hurries up with it - I'm tired of the whinging! LOL

The little electric fire is on it's last legs - keeps cutting out so I'm going to Home Depot tomorrow to look for a new one.

I am sending you this heart because I love you.......and will forever xxxxxxxxx

I'm moving to a place where there are NO dogs!

Well, I swear that my frustration level is going off the scale. I think my head will blow off in a minute! BOOOOOOM!

I finally got all the passport papers done and went up to Dr. K's to get them countersigned. I got large hugs from Sharon and her large bazooms! After checking and counter checking, I finally put them in the post at 9:00 this morning. Now, if they come back because there is an error or I haven't signed something properly - then they will all go in the bloody rubbish and I shall never go to England again. But I felt good that I had got as far as I had!

My next large project - THE DREADED INCOME TAX - is giving me heartburn and a large degree of flatulence - Brrrrrrrrrrrr! Oh excuse me! I have an appointment with the tax lady on Monday but I have not been able to access the 1099s from Smith Barney. They were supposed to be here this week. I called their number today - they have a 24 hour hot line- and asked what the fiddly diddle was going on. The nice young weak wristed, namby- pamby momma's boy said they were mailed out yesterday and will be here sometime next week! Great! I have had to change my tax lady appointment and buy another 12 pack of Bud!

I went to Applebees for some more bleedin soup and a beer for lunch. I met a lovely couple - about 50ish who had just returned from a 6 year stint in England. They are originally from New Hampshire. He works for the Avery Scale maker and they spent their time in - OK - I'll give you 3 guesses! Yep - Brum. They loved it and didn't want to come back.

Do you remember the chap who lived in the house at the back of ours? I can never remember his name - anyway, they have moved out and and have rented the house out. The new people have been moving in this weekend and have bought with them 2 BIG dogs that have not stopped barking since 10:00 this morning. So, I now have a yapping Jack Russell on one side - a growling pit bull on the other and two large god-knows-what behind me. I can't wait to sell this place and get the hell away from all the agro! to an island with no dogs!

Do you remember when we went to Temecula and had lunch at the golf club - Angela will remember too. I enjoy it so much down there. As I go through my photos, I miss you and I cry.

Love always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

New Choppers on the Way!

Well, I had me gnashers pulled out on Wednesday - 5 of them with crowns and one little one that wasn't doing much of anything but would have made fitting a partial awkward. The oral surgeon was very good - an Indian bloke - I was going to ask him for a recipe for chicken tika masala but as soon as I got my gob open he was in there pulling and tugging. Oh, I hate that crunching sound that you hear when he breaks the crowns - arggggg!

Denise took me and brought me back home. I was very grateful because I was a bit woosie from the nitrous oxide and when I got home I went strraight to bed for a couple of hours - of course, after I got up I read the instruction that the nurse had given me and it said - DO NOT LIE DOWN FOR AT LEAST 3 HOURS! ooops!

So now onto phase 2 - a couple of fillings - a couple of crowns - some veneers and THEN, I shall be ready for upper and lower partials. I shall have twinkly teeth - and an empty wallet.

I think that I now have all of the tax papers and am going to see the tax lady on Monday. It's all so complicated - I hope she can sort it out. Did I tell you that I went to see Joe, the attorney, last Monday. I told him that I'm in a real dither about this money so he told me to hurry up and spend it all then I won't have the money to worry about! He is also taking the deed to the house down to the courthouse and get it changed into my name only.I told him not to bother but he said it will be much easier if I want to sell it.

I have all the paperwork done for my passport - yea - and am going to see Sharron today to have her countersign everything. I shall also get some hugs while I'm there!

I hope you like the picture of what my teeth will look like in a few weeks!

Love you and cry for you every day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bless New Orleans!

Had a busy week last week - and this week will be even busier than last. Today , I'm going to see the lawyer and start drawing up a will. I shall leave all of my (and your) money to those who love me - so - the word- is get loving!

Tomorrow, I'm going up to see Sharron and get her to countersign all of my passport paperwork - Yes, would you believe that I have finally gathered together all the documents, very ugly photos and a check for $236 - cor struth! It's a good thing that I don't have to do this every year.

On Wednesday, I shall be spending a couple of hours at the dentist - but we won't talk about that! Wednesday is also the Chinese New Year - The Year of the Tiger - Hmmm, I hope that isn't a bad omen!

Yesterday was the Super Bowl and it was a great game. New Orleans beat the Indianapolis Colts. Both teams played really well and I enjoyed myself - sitting by the fire, stuffing my face full of chips and onion dip, yum. I am so happy for New Orleans - after everything that the city has been through, they needed something to make them happy. From what I saw on the news this morning, they were still partying on Bourbon Street at 4:00 a.m.

Do you remember when we went to the French Quarter - all those beautiful wrought iron balconies - and the voodoo shops - so different - so interesting. More Lovely memories.

The picture is of Drew Brees - the NO quarterback. He is very talented. I nicked the photo from a newspaper - shhhhhh - don't say anything!

Love you forever xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I Could Use Some Help - and Bailey's!

A very long day today. I am working on my passport so that I can go home and sit in the pub wiv all me mates. I miss England so much.

I printed all of the forms off the Internet and read all the instructions - I also spoke to some half-baked individual in Washington DC - who had the brains of dead mosquito.

My next project was to find a photo studio that does passport photos. It's quite complicated because since 2008, all British and US passport photos have to be done in metrics AND the instructions include pages of rules! I spent half the morning looking for passport photo places on the Internet and after driving about 600 miles around Corona, I gave up and went down to see Brit. She poured me a lovely cold beer - and I explained my problem. She said "Why didn't you
say? They have a passport photo place at the Sears outlet" (do you remember the one that used to be KMart) - So off I went again - back to Corona. It's a good thing that I've had the car serviced.

Brit was correct - they have a very professional photo studio in there - the only problem was that I didn't have an appointment and had to wait while a woman with three ugly, screaming, shouting, tongue-sticking out little boys - (maybe 3, 5 and 12 months) posed gracefully for what will become $50 worth of OMG - did I give birth to that!

Anyhoo - finally got my pics done at 2:00ish and I won't show them to you because they are awful - I didn't realize how much I had aged since my cancer.

So- I feel like I am accomplishing things - One step at at a time. On Monday, I am going to see our attorney. I'm making a new will - and those who have been kind will see the results - those who have been selfish, spiteful, hateful and unkind will also see the results. I'm going to leave some of the dosh to City of Hope. What do you think? They saved my life.

I haven't eaten yet today - so am going down to Pat's to get some French Toast and eggs.

I do love you and wish you could help me with all of these roadblocks. XXXXXXXX

I took this photo when we went to Lake Arrowhead - it was a lovely day.

Moose Drool - WHAT?

Another job done - and with lots of tears. I took all of your lovely shoes to the Goodwill - did you know that you had 12 pairs of dress shoes? - those snakeskin ones were beautiful. I'm not sure how they will look on a dirty scruffy homeless person with dreadlocks and a snotty mustache! But - someone will appreciate them.

As long as I was close to the mall, you know that I just had to pop into The Yardhouse and have a quick brewski. While sitting at the counter I was trying to read the names of all of those beers from the independent breweries. One that caught my eye would be perfect for my son (don't tell him I said so!) It is called Moose Drool Brown Ale - OMG! I found the picture on the web and hope that noone minds me using it. Anyway - after lots of tears over the shoes, I had a good giggle over the drool!

I had some very bad news yesterday. You know my friend , Angie L, well she has had a stroke. They are not sure how severe it is yet as they haven't finished all the tests yet - typical NHS! Her husband had just flown to Los Angeles on Friday - she stayed in England to help her daughter move house. Of course, John had to turn around and get on the next plane back to England. What a bugger isn't it? I do hope she gets better - she has been very kind to me.

I'm missing you terribly - your closet is almost empty now and I don't want you to go - and I know that you will never come back - but you will be in my heart forever.

xxxxxxxxx

My Love is Like A ....

Another terrible night - I would give anything for some decent sleep - but, tis not to be!

I called the tax man - oops, lady - (sorry George, I forgot that you had kicked the bucket.) I have an appointment for Feb 15 and the lady (Karen) gave me a list of all the things that I should bring - Cor, struth - I shall need a suitcase to carry that much paper.

The doctor has given me some anti-depressant pills - not that they seem to be doing much good; I think a glass of Bailey's works just as well.

The weather has been quite pleasant - about 70f but rain is forecast for the end of the week.

Today, I am taking all of your lovely shoes to the Goodwill. I shall cry all the way - I don't want you to go - but I know that there are other people who can use them.

The picture is one that I took at Mission San Gabriel. I know that you enjoyed our trip there because it reminded you of when your Mom would take you when you were a little boy. It was a happy and a sad day trip for me - I hope you enjoy the rose.

xxxxxxxxx

Well, That Didn't Work Out So Well!

I drove down to Pechanga at about 11:00 and stopped into Kelsey's Lounge first to have a bite of lunch while I played a slot machine. WELL, they have removed all of the slot machines from Kelsey's and so I showed my disgust by stomping my feet and going over to The Round Bar, where they don't serve food but at least they have a gazzillion slot machines - and beer.

I sat next to a lady who won $750 - lucky so and so. I wonder if she needs new gnashers too?

Well, I couldn't win a sausage and after a couple of hours and 3 beers, I was bored to death and not looking forward to the 45 mile trip back home. I do wish that you were with me - we used to have some good fun on the slot machines and you were never po'd if I lost. Now I don't like going alone - so I don't think I will anymore.

I drove home and stopped by the new little Mexican hole in the wall that has opened up on the main road. The food is out of this world - and cheap! I had a bean and cheese burrito with avocado, sour cream, cilantro and green sauce. It weighed about 6 lbs and cost me all of $3.75.

I was so happy to get home and sit on the couch next to my little electric fire - shoving good grub down me neck.

I'm not sure what I'm doing today - other than writing to Alex - if I can think of the right words to say.

Do you remember when we went to the Mission San Luis Rey while on our way to Encinitas? - It was so pretty. I especially liked the pub at the bottom of the road. A very handy place to slurp some suds and look at the mission at the same time! Almost a religious experience!

Missing you so much that it hurts. xxxxxx

Birds and a Boat

I am finally starting to feel better - the poor old lungs still have a few more puffs in them! Mike and Dee came on Thursday and bought me some water jugs - I couldn't manage them as they are so heavy and make me too short of breath. Dee has offered to take me to the dentist on 10 Feb and that is a relief - I didn't want to have to hire a taxi.

I had to get a medical release from Dr. K before the dentist will start his work - so I drove up to see Sharron on Thursday. She is still the BEST hugger in the world! I saw my luscious Dr. K and he says that I have no restrictions regarding the gnasher project. So - onward and upward.

I went stark raving mad at the bank yesterday (not unusual) I had received a letter confirming that my 2 children are the beneficiaries of the CD account that I have - if I get run over by a bus they get to split the account - $6! However, on the confirmation letter, they had spelled both of the kids names wrong! Arggg! I spoke to the bank manager and she gave me some cock and bull story about people not having very good handwriting these days! WHAT! I told her that if the bank can't hire people who can write - then I shall take my money to a bank where people can. She got a bit flustered and promised to have everything fixed by Monday. Why do people make life so difficult?

I talked to Joni yesterday - she is doing really well. We have received an invite to a do at Sacred Heart in March - a celebration type of thing. I told her I shall go as long as the weather is OK. I don't want to drive up that mountain road in the snow.

I'm going to the casino at Pachanga today - The lucky twitch in my eyebrow is telling me that I shall win millions.

Do you remember when we went to Newport and saw that old boat on the shore - and the fog bank in the distance? Another one of our lovely days. I'm so glad I have my cameras - such lovely memories captured.

Miss you more each day xxxxxxx

The Cost of Beauty!

You would be so proud of me - I went to the dentist to get an estimate on a new partial. WELL, In order to have a new partial, I'm going to have to have 4 crowns yanked out of me gob! AND, 4 other teeth ground down and crowned to make room for the partial. $12 million!

The dentist is everso nice - His name is Dr. Dimitri and so I thought he was Greeek but he's Egyptian - a bit Omar Sharif ish - by the way - did you know that Omar Sharif's middle name was Dimitri? And anyway - who cares?

I got a big surprise on Monday when I get a letter from our grandson A. He has ended up where we thought he would - silly chap - and he has a girl friend who is in the pudding club. Lordy, Lordy! I don't whether to knit booties or poke me eyes out with the needles!

I got a notice the other day that our dear old Tax Accountant, George had died in October. His daughter, a CPA, has taken over the business and I shall call her after Feb.1 - as I think the taxes are going to be very complicated. - maybe I'll send the IRS me old gnashers as payment!

My relationship with my offspring is still very strained. I don't know how to make up for all the years that I was the world's most terrible mother and caused them to live miserable, cruel and selfish lives at the age of 50.

The garage door opener has gone to meet it's maker! I will have to get someone to install a new one. Shame when you have to pay people to do jobs around the house. Oh well, at this rate, there won't be any dosh left for the ungrateful ones. Hehe!

The rain has finally stopped and I did a good check of the roof - no leaks! Yea! I also took the car in for service and they had it smogged for me - I went straight down to AAA and got my new tags so that is that job for another year. Now I'm going to arrange a trip to Tucson.

I miss you so much - there is so much to do alone and some days I can't stop crying long enough to see what I'm doing. I wish you would come home - but I know you won't. I love you.

Do you remember when we went to Redlands? What a nice day we had. I have saved that shirt that you are wearing - I can't let it go xxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's Raining - it's Pouring!

Sorry that I haven't written for a few day but have been busy trying to be a handy man - gardener and car mechanic!

Johnny came over yesterday and cleaned out all of the gutters. Some other bloke was supposed to show up - HA - I hate when people don't show! Anyhoo - Johnny did a good job and flushed out me downspout (dirty bugger!) and now all the plumbing is 100%

It has rained quite a bit today but nothing horrendous - but they say it will be really bad by Wednesday. I shall hide under the bed. With my teddy - and my binky! Wish you were here.

I talked to both Fran and Di yesterday. It was good to speak to them - Di offered me some good advice- as she always does. We both hold you in our heart.

Did I tell you that I have an appt with Dr. Nelson on Wednesday ? Me poor old lungs have about caved in and my back is in agony. I am using your very fancy walking stick. Now I really feel like an old lady!

Love you and miss you forever xxxxxxxxxx

I hope you like the picture - it was when we went to Encinitas in 2005- wish we could go again

Cars - Teeth - Wind!

I have been so busy today that I am ready to lie on the living room floor with an IV line of Bailey's hooked up to my "whatever" so that I can have some rest!

I took the rental car back - $89. T'would be nice to have kind relatives or children or neighbors so that I don't have to rent a car- ho hum - but they are all too busy doing their own thing - so don't have time to drop my car off and pick it up - Ah Well - I shall remember. It seems as though Sonny and his crew did a good job on the car except that the tire pressure light keeps coming on - Argggg! I took it back this afternoon and it seems that one of his slaves had pumped the tires up to 37psi - Arggg! I told him to let it down to 34psi and now the light has gone out and it is feeling much better.

I have finally got up the gumption to go back to Dr. R. the dentist from Hades - to try and get him to fix my partial - which I have been trying to wear but it is worse than a chastity belt on yer knashers! Or - I imagine. Anyway, Dr. R wasn't there - he only comes in 2 days a month - I'm not surprised - people are probably waiting outside the front door to stone him! I now have a new dentist - Dr. D. He is Egyptian and I think I love him! LOL - Actually, I am very confidant that he will fix all my knashers - although it may cost me $5000 - but that's OK - the kids can look at my teeth when I'm dead! LOL

The wind has come up this afternoon - and now I'm afraid that the ash tree will fall down on top of me while I'm in bed - what a bugger that would be before I got my tooths fixed.

I hope you like the picture of the rose - I do.

Love you and will miss you forever

I Hate Cars!

Hello my love. I had a very busy day today but it made me feel good and I hope that I shall sleep well tonight.

I took some clothes and shoes to the Goodwill - and - as usual - I cried. I hate giving away part of our lives. - but I don't want to become a packrat and I really do want to clean out the house so that I can sell it and move. There are too many memories here.....and it is such a lonely place.

I took my car down to Sonny's shop to get a tune up and get it smogged. He is going to give it a good once over. I'm feeling good about that as I think I shall drive out to see D next month and I need the car to be in good nick.

I have rented a car for 2 days while my car is in the shop - it's a Kia Rio and it is SO CUTE. As you know, Rio (by Duran Duran) was one of my most fave songs - so- there you are - it gives me something to sing!

The key won't open the driver's side door on the Toyota - grrrr - but Sonny is getting a locksmith to fix it - $75! Arggggg

I have not heard from my children - what else is new?

I went to the park yesterday and did 50 push-ups on the bar! And if you believe that..........

Rain is coming tonight and I am so happy - the lawn is gasping.

I love you and miss you and wish you were here
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's Been a Long Time - and Lots of Tears.

I couldn't write to you for so long because the tears wouldn't stop. Now I'm going to try and tell you about my days - and also ask you what I should do about the people in my life who have no clue how much my heart hurts.

I was invited to a certain someones house for Thanksgiving. The matriarch of the clan was in charge of the food and I arrived with the stuff to make roasted spuds for my son - you know how much he loves them. As soon as I put the spuds and baking dish on the kitchen table, I was met with a tirade of "I already made mashed potatoes - we don't need roasted potatoes - it's too much food - why do we have to have two kinds of potatoes? -there is no room in the oven - and on and on and on. This displays of ill manners went on for 30 minutes. How sad. Where I was raised, if someone bought a dish for the meal it was welcomed with open arms - even if it was pureed baby spinach! Some people are just plain rude! I will not go to any of her candlelight suppers again.

I was asked what I would like for Christmas - the first Christmas without my darling. I decided that I needed a new bird bath as the other one is falling to bits. The person who asked me about the gift asked me twice - so I don't believe that there was any confusion. What I got for Christmas was an egg poacher. I have a stinking feeling that it was a gift that they didn't want and passed on to me. Hey HO! - I'll try putting it in the garden but don't think the birds will be thrilled. AND - I shall go and buy my own bird bath - Merry Christmas Folks!

I sold your car - I didn't want to but it seemed such a waste of money to keep paying the insurance. I watched it drive down the road and cried a million tears.

I closed the bank account for our granddaughter and sent her a cheque. She hasn't called!

I am hoping to find a handyman to come and clean the gutters out - they are full of leaves and we are supposed to be in for some heavy rain for the next month or so.

I talked to D the other day and I might drive to Tucson to visit her - she is the one person who can hold my broken heart.